I already graduated with my postgraduate diploma in public management last July. Currently, I am preparing my documentary requirements for continuing DipPM to Masters in Public Administration. While cross-referencing my graduate school essay I wrote in 2020, my mind suddenly traveled back to my undergraduate years. There’s a sudden pang of nostalgia and what-ifs of what could’ve been. I let my mind reminisce about my life during my undergraduate years.
Way back in 4th year of high school, the time for college applications, I decided to take a business degree. I did not pass UPCAT. My family could not afford to send me to DLSU. I told them that I wanted to study business administration (BA) so I enrolled in one of the state universities that my friend’s sister recommended to me.
In that university, I was culture shock by the perception of the professors and students with our course. There was a hierarchy and stereotypes in business courses such as accountancy as the most superior while BA major in Marketing is first runner up. Most of the students who failed the entrance exam for accountancy chose a BA major in Management – which was my major. During that time, I was a different breed. I prided myself that I was in this course because I wanted to, not because I failed accountancy. Many professors recommended shifting from management to accountancy which I did not entertain at all. I even argued with professors who stereotype this course as such. I was firm and dedicated. It was a different world for me. I was vibrant, full of passion.
However, that journey ended when I transferred to the University of the Philippines Diliman. It is one of the best universities in the country. I planned to transfer after a year. I chose a different course as a stepping stone but as I went along, I had difficulty with my subjects. My grades were not enough to not pass BA when I attempted to shift. Upon knowing this failure, I suddenly asked myself if choosing my dream school over my dream course was worth it. I had a lot of my biggest what if: What if I did not transfer?
As time passed by, I came to the terms that I will not be graduating with BA. But I still have inclinations in anything about business management but they were fuzzy at times. It was a gradual shift from who I used to be to who I am becoming. I forged friendships within my academic organization and department. I even participated in my college politics. If there was one thing I was sure about it: I will take MBA as my postgraduate.
When I was in 4th year, I studied public policies in street vending in Divisoria. It is a combination of mapping as I also illustrated the locations of street vendors at different times of the day and analyzed their compliance with public policies toward clean Divisoria. The research process was arduous but an I’m proud of the output. The experience was my turning point I have moved on and am comfortable with going away in business management forever.
Today, I’m a different person. Surely, I still wonder how my life would be if I stuck with my BA agenda but I have no regrets. If I did not pursue a social science course, my perspective would be limited. I learned so much about spaces, people, and interactions with the environment. With the things going with my career, it fueled my desire to serve the fellow Filipino and have a direct impact in the society. I will always remember this with a smile (or with a laugh) about the person I used to be. If I could leave a message to my younger self it would be: You’ll find yourself someday. Being lost is part of growing. You are capable of doing great things.
